brown dog Posted May 5, 2021 Report Share Posted May 5, 2021 Whatever happened to this expression?! .. I'm going to start working it back into my conversations Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John MH Posted May 5, 2021 Report Share Posted May 5, 2021 😃 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roy W Posted May 5, 2021 Report Share Posted May 5, 2021 or 'She bangs like a shithouse door in the wind!' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roy W Posted May 5, 2021 Report Share Posted May 5, 2021 There must be dozens of others.................................... 'You've got two hopes.........Bob and I lied about the other' 'You're in your own time now, my wife's got a microwave!' and the one you don't want to hear..............'It pays to be a winner!' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Re-Pete Posted May 5, 2021 Report Share Posted May 5, 2021 About as much use as a nine-bob note........... Up and down like a fiddlers elbow........... Pete Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roy W Posted May 5, 2021 Report Share Posted May 5, 2021 As much use as tits on a bull Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brown dog Posted May 5, 2021 Author Report Share Posted May 5, 2021 Like shagging an empty headlock. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Strangelove Posted May 5, 2021 Report Share Posted May 5, 2021 At the speed of a thousand gazelles. Never got that one - surely one is as fast as a thousand? Unless the pack mentality causes a collective increase in speed... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roy W Posted May 5, 2021 Report Share Posted May 5, 2021 1 hour ago, brown dog said: Like shagging an empty headlock. 🤣 like a Wizard's sleeve! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Re-Pete Posted May 5, 2021 Report Share Posted May 5, 2021 Or a clowns pocket...🤣 Pete Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roy W Posted May 5, 2021 Report Share Posted May 5, 2021 9 minutes ago, Re-Pete said: Or a clowns pocket...🤣 Pete You've been to Chatham too then! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roy W Posted May 5, 2021 Report Share Posted May 5, 2021 'You lie like a cheap NAAFI watch' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Re-Pete Posted May 5, 2021 Report Share Posted May 5, 2021 No, not Chatham............been to HMS Vernon a few times, though. Pete Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John MH Posted May 5, 2021 Report Share Posted May 5, 2021 Something akin to a big or ragged hole - 'A fanny like a ripped Burberry sleeve' A string vest - 'brown hatters scrambling net' A well educated Midshipman - 'Like a Lighthouse in the desert, bright but F%C^ all use' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
One on top of two Posted May 5, 2021 Report Share Posted May 5, 2021 Describing someone who is careful with they money ….. Tighter than the skin on a chickens lip ! or tighter than two coats of paint . describing something of little or no use ….. As useful as a pork pie at a Jewish wedding ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maximus otter Posted May 6, 2021 Report Share Posted May 6, 2021 Traffic officers: “About as much use as Anne Frank’s drum kit.” Me: “As hard as a woodpecker’s lips.” Skinny: “I’ve seen more meat on a butcher’s pencil.” maximus otter Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
les Posted May 6, 2021 Report Share Posted May 6, 2021 He/she's about as much use as a back pocket on a vest (or an ashtray on a motorbike). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SeaMonkey Posted May 6, 2021 Report Share Posted May 6, 2021 22 minutes ago, maximus otter said: Skinny: “I’ve seen more meat on a butcher’s pencil.” maximus otter Ha ha ha, that’s the best one yet. Made me spit my shredded wheat 😂 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ronin Posted May 6, 2021 Report Share Posted May 6, 2021 From up norf “Roll us your cap grandad” Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
No i deer Posted May 6, 2021 Report Share Posted May 6, 2021 About as much use as a chocolate fire guard... She had a fanny like a gutted trout 😆 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
No i deer Posted May 6, 2021 Report Share Posted May 6, 2021 It's better to have bad luck than no luck at all 😁 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popsbengo Posted May 6, 2021 Report Share Posted May 6, 2021 Said of a chap in the miner's showers, blessed with an impressive member - "he has a roll back like a brood mare's top lip" "goes down like a chubby kid on a seesaw" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roy W Posted May 6, 2021 Report Share Posted May 6, 2021 As thick as a whale omelette or As thick as a Ghurka's foreskin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Re-Pete Posted May 6, 2021 Report Share Posted May 6, 2021 Meanness: So tight he wouldn't give you the skin off a turd / the steam off his pi$$. The morning after: My mouth tastes like a badgers arse / apes armpit / Turkish wrestlers jockstrap / a buzzards chuff. Pete Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
No i deer Posted May 6, 2021 Report Share Posted May 6, 2021 Up and down like a fiddlers arm... Up and down like a brides nightgown. Up and down like Weston donkeys. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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