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Lost Expressions


brown dog
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Monging it.

Mongtard 

 

SSgt to Ocdt: 'you fekkin spastic mong, Sir'.

 

 

On parade: 'if you don't close your mouth, Mr x, you'll wake tomorrow with it all sticky and a thank you note by your bed'.

 

 

SSgt: How many pushups do you want to do Mr x?

Ocdt: I don't want to do any SSgt.

SSgt: Yeah? Well times that by a thousand ya'smartarsed qunt! 

 

Insufficient 'bend and drive':

 'I make more fkn noise banging my missus' head off the headboard'. 

Slow drill movts:

'I want to hear you rip your arms away like you'd rip a rapist off your Granny's back'

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on the morning after the night before:

"I've got a tongue like Ghandi's Flip flop!"

"My mouth feels like the bottom of a birdcage"

"That Gorilla came in my room, threw my clothes everywhere, that which promotes growth and vigour in my mouth and left a half eaten Chinky on the floor....again!"

 

 

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2 minutes ago, Roy W said:

It was RL Starter buttons! JMH is correct with Scammell Wheelnuts.

Bedford RL's, now they were trucks!

Did my HGV training and test in an RL box-body - bloody good wagon once it would 'agree' to start.  Many happy memories of trotting down to the LAD for new batteries

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Lot of things that we (I) did use are now unacceptable in general use, but WTH:

 

as much use as a hand brake in a canoe

As popular as a turd in a punch bowl

Life's like a blackman's left leg - it's not right and it's not fair

That's the rind on the Edam cheese of life

a blind man would like to see it.

Tight as a ducks arse (you can substitute re a nun's anatomy here!)

dim as a TokH lamp

slicker than a greased weasel

her face looked like it had caught on fire an someone put it out with a shovel 

face like a driller's vice  / welder's bench.

all over the place like mad woman's s h i t

 

 

 

 

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7 minutes ago, Roy W said:

Poor old Bobbie, he was half the man he used to be when he left us! 

 

His phone number is stuck in my mind:

808010

Eight nothing, eight nothing, one nothing.

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9 minutes ago, brown dog said:

His phone number is stuck in my mind:

808010

Eight nothing, eight nothing, one nothing.

The dirty protests were, apparently, an attempt to make the H block feel more like home...................

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