Firearms and divorce

[eldon]

Well after 17 years I find myself in this predicament.

Must be somebody on here who has been here and done that.

How do I stand with my firearms? she has no licence so she can't own them, can she?

Can I be forced to sell them ?

Are they just an item like anything else ?

I obviously bought them so are they mine or ours ? not paid for from a joint account if that makes a difference.

 

Any help or advice on this appreciated.

[Vermincinerator]

I cant help you with any of your questions but one thing i will tell you is that back in the pistol shooting days a friend of mine from the same club was going through a very messy divorce, no animosity lost between them, one day his wife accused him of threatening her with a pistol

The police immediately revoked his FAC and ordered him to surrender his pistols,

Anyway he lodged the pistols with a RFD rather then let the police have them.

It later came out that his ex-wife made the whole thing up, however he never got his FAC back even though the police were ordered to by a judge.

 

Ian.

[Streeker59]

I went through a messy divorce but fortunately she never brought up my guns. I guess it was because she had the house, the car, the kids and the cats.. I was left with nothing but my pistols, rifles and the clothes on my back.. Oh and i still had to pay the mortgage... My advice ???

Get a good lawyer and lodge your guns with an RFD if you dont have a secure place for them that the old bill haven't approved of yet..

 

Grant..

[Ronin]

Free advice

 

 

give her NO reason whatsoever to complain to the authorities regarding your behaviour.

 

Always, have a witness with you if you speak to her (following the breakup)

 

She may have no legitimate access to the weapons, but they might be deemed as part of your joint property when (if ) it comes to separating assets.

 

Tread carefully and play a close hand.

 

 

I speak from (very costly) experience

[baldie]

Cant offer any advice, but i,m sorry you are in this predicament mate. Hope you get sorted.

[varminter]

Cant offer any advice, but i,m sorry you are in this predicament mate. Hope you get sorted.

 

My sentiments exactly!!!

Hope it goes well for you and all the best..........

RAY.............................

[ejg223]

Can't offer advice either, I'm sorry to hear of your situation.

 

I helped (or tried) a friend through his ordeal that lasted

a few years. Now he's like new born and very happy again.

 

Things will get better

 

edi

[baldie]

We all know we only pay £50 per gun. I would sell them to your friendly rfd. You can always buy more like them when you are single again.

[6mmBR]

Good luck I hope everything works out positively and when the time comes you really enjoy your new found freedom.

Best wishes

Dave

[eldon]

Thanks guys.

Unbelievable she runs off with a bloke from work and the system is totally anti-male. The guilty party is totally irrelevant and makes no difference to who pays what. If your a joint mortgage holder you are both liable in default but otherwise she can't afford it on her income so you have to pay it. Hang on I thought you said we were both liable ummmm.

 

Thought for the day,

It would be cheaper to employ a nanny full time for the kids than to pay off the wife a lot of years down the line.

 

Thanks again, it can only get better................... surely.

[onehole]

I think your post was with regard to finances and I think you will find that any possessions sole or joint could ultimately come under consideration especially if solicitors do their job extremely well.You will at some stage have to complete a statement of finances/possessions/debts etc etc so I think it would be wise to get a valuation of all your kit done by a trusted dealer who can perhaps value things down a good bit in the view of having to evidence this at some stage.

I,ve been there and done all this but I dont think anyone in this situation can actually make you sell your gear ,there must be many other ways around it.You both probably have what you call personal assets and possessions ,do a deal ?try to keep it all as amicable as possible I would say and I really do wish you can sort things out as simply as possible.The only winners here are solicitors so yes my advice is be as amicable and as fair as possible otherwise it will just drag on and on.

All this is a real upset for anyone,all the very best.

[Andrew]

Thanks guys.

Unbelievable she runs off with a bloke from work and the system is totally anti-male. The guilty party is totally irrelevant and makes no difference to who pays what. If your a joint mortgage holder you are both liable in default but otherwise she can't afford it on her income so you have to pay it. Hang on I thought you said we were both liable ummmm.

 

Thought for the day,

It would be cheaper to employ a nanny full time for the kids than to pay off the wife a lot of years down the line.

 

Thanks again, it can only get better................... surely.

 

Eldon,

I went through a divorce 5 years ago that ended a 25+ year marriage. Same situation. She took up with a guy from work It sucked, big-time, and I feel for you.

 

I was divorced in California which is a 50/50 state which meant that I was up for having to sell off half of my somewhat considerable (and dear to me) (dearer than her, I have come to find out) gun collection. What I did was to buy her out of them from our savings, etc. I only had to pay what i paid, not any accrued value. It was an amiable divorce and she went for it. I did the same with my house in Montana and my machine shop equipment. She got the money-market accounts but I got to keep stuff I couldn't afford to replace.

 

I don't know if this helps but there it is.

 

Regards,

Andrew

[Ratwhiskers]

E,

 

Take Andy's "Free Advise"..... All of it!

 

And the best of luck mate.

 

Ratty.

....

[kip270]

I have been through it too, luckily my guns never came in to the equation, but as others have said keep a cool head, if you have a friendly rfd then sell them for a small fee. On the understanding you will want them back, and then when things settle down you will have them in your possession.

Trust me things will get better, time is a healer (i never thought so, never a true statement that sticks in my mind)

Or if you have a friendly rfd put them in long term storage, and if the police ask why, it's only till you get yourself back ontrack regarding living accomidation, as the security of the guns is top on your list.

Doe's she know the true value of your kit??? 

Whatever you do keep receipts, so that way she can only try to claim for half and not some amount she thinks they are worth.

 

There are a few of us that have been through it, and have come out better for it in time.

 

In times like this it's better to be two steps ahead, but don't let on, let her think she has the upper hand.

 

Keep a cool head, and don't forget your not alone, plenty of people on here willing to help, even if it's just a phone call to get stuff off your mind.

[foxing2night]

Sorry to hear this Eldon,

Take Andy,s advice,,,,

And i hope that it all works out for you,,

 

It might not seem like it now, but time is a healer,,,,,

 

Good luck,,, Darrel

[varminter]

No consolation buddy , but its times like these you are glad for good friends!!!

All the best..................

RAY..........................

[onehole]

"Spends too much time on his shooting" thats what was on my petition! spend even more now he! he ![it was all Varminters fault!got led astray!!!]

[Alycidon]

I cant help you with any of your questions but one thing i will tell you is that back in the pistol shooting days a friend of mine from the same club was going through a very messy divorce, no animosity lost between them, one day his wife accused him of threatening her with a pistol

The police immediately revoked his FAC and ordered him to surrender his pistols,

Anyway he lodged the pistols with a RFD rather then let the police have them.

It later came out that his ex-wife made the whole thing up, however he never got his FAC back even though the police were ordered to by a judge.

 

Ian.

 

 

Should have taken the Police to court, he would have won and got costs to boot.

 

The firearms should be valued, then their value taken into consideration along with things like washing machines etc when deciding who gets what. She should get goods to the same value.

 

A

[English]

Eldon,

 

Firstly, I'm sorry that you find yourself in this situation.

 

My ex-wife found out she coudln't have children and became very distant.

 

Next thing I knew was that she had moved to her parents (without telling me until after she had gone) and within a year moved in with a guy from work - there is a lot of it about.

 

By the time I got her to a "relate" meeting (ther is a waiting list) the "councelor" announced to me the marrage was over and I had to deal with it - she just left and I was asked not to try and speak with her!

 

When My wife got her news from the Dr, she seemed to think it only affected her, but at the same time it meant to me that I wasn't going to have a family either and apart from how distant and difficult she became to live with in that period, I had to deal with this "loss" as well!

 

I found it very difficult to see now my absolute best friend had become my worst nightmare. Instead of being able to get some help and support as per the past she seemed to multiply my problems many fold.

 

From being a couple with a difficult issue to deal with to, on you own overnight and with someone who wouldnt see you or speak with you (was for me the worst thing ever).

 

Just to add a bit of spice into my life, six weeks after she moved out I got made redundant.

 

Forced to find work and keep up the mortgage, I found myself 250 miles from "home" so being around and with "firearms" (mainly pistols back then) never really came into the equation, however if you have a friendly RFD i'd lodge them there for at least the next 6 months just to keep them out of the picture if things do get nasty.

 

I couldnt afford to pay rent and the morgage so I used my new found reduncancy to pay off the last 1/3rd or so of the mortgage - I expected in the final event that would be taken into account and expected that the settlement would be "sell the house recover my 1/3rd payment and split the rest down the middle" - it doesn't work like that it came out 50/50.

 

After she left I hoped she would get back to "normal" but she never did and it really was as if I didn't know her at all? Now 10 years on from the point of being at a sad and difficult time in our lives to finding she had gone to her parents I've not seen her more than 4-5 times in all these years (from the day she moved out) and at least 3 of those times just passing by in a car.

 

Whilst I found it incredible that we should be poles apart and hoped for a reconcilation she was busy contemplating the new direction of her life it was quite literally like we had come to a fork in road and she took one way and I the other, but for me without any choice in the matter? I found that REALLY difficult.

 

On the Plus side because I was always amicable - we sold the house and split it, we didnt argue about savings (well I had none and she sure as hell wasnt parting with anything) we didnt argue about pensions or anything else effectively we went our separate ways and that was about it.

 

I wanted some furniture as by the time we got divoced she was living with someone and didnt need any of it (minted again) I had been in rented digs - her solicitor put an extortionate value on our belongings which I said fine - keep them and pay me 1/2, in the end I got a reasonable settlement on furniture but it was a PITA to get to.

 

Due to my circumstances I was absolutely brassic and so two years after we separated I was really pleased to know that I had an endowment policy about to mature on a home improvement loan - it would pay off for double glazing the house and put about £2K in the bank (or so I thought).

 

To say I was miffed when I got her solicitors letter putting a block on them paying out to me until the Ex had her half is the polite way of saying I was SERIOUSLY ****ed off!

 

You need to understand although I sowed my wild oats, by time I was ready to get married I had got to the point where I was ready to stand up in church before all the people I cared about and to take the woman on for life.

 

An old fashoned guy I meant that or wouldnt have done it at all! Similarly she only had her name on that endowmewnt as a last minute thought by the Glazing sales rep - then if either of us died it would be paid off for the other - but I paid every penny of it alongside the mortgage.

 

Throughout our marriage I paid all the bills except the house insurance and food but always thought of it as "our home" none of this counts in the splitting of assets and although she clearly intended to ger her pound of flesh out of our former home she made no attempt to contribute to any of the bills even for the few weeks before I got back to working again?

 

I thought cashing in on the endowment like that when she knew how hard up I was at the time was really un-forgivable!

 

It may not be the advice you want but go and see a solicitor and try for the most amicable split you can achieve under the circumstances? The more time you have with a solicitor the bigger that unwanted bill will become

 

A friend who for entirely diferent seasons separated from his wife split everthing down the middle, but he bought a new house before the divorce was final and rubbed her nose in it by taking several new girflreinds to places he new he would bump into her and then back to his new place! Although she had bought a new home too, it didn't stop her from asking for a final settlement to take into account his new home - he was screwed by the courts a 2nd time

 

For the few weeks I was out of work and througout this sorry episode in my life, what I did find was that my mates were brilliant - the got me out of the house, fed me with their families and plied me with beer. they put up with all my crap and were the best you could ask for. I don't know you or where you are but I'll happily buy you a beer and make sure you are fed if the opportunity arises.

 

I got too deep into my shell - get out see your friends - dont live in the past, sadly the life you had is changed and it doesnt sound like its coming back. Plan for yourself and you will be much happier.

 

I hope all goes well for you as you weave through what is no doubt a difficult time in your life?

[Alycidon]

That is a really sad story, it sounds like your ex was suffering from depression and had decided as she was unable to have kids that she was unworthy of you and that she would walk away and let you build a new life. Probably a lot more to it than that of course but some women gear their whole life to capturing a mate and having kids.

 

So sorry but you seem through the worst of it now.

 

A

[English]

That is a really sad story, it sounds like your ex was suffering from depression and had decided as she was unable to have kids that she was unworthy of you and that she would walk away and let you build a new life. Probably a lot more to it than that of course but some women gear their whole life to capturing a mate and having kids.

 

So sorry but you seem through the worst of it now.

 

A

 

My Ex & I had the same GP so he knew what had been happening in our lives - I went to see him as I was sure she was depressed and he promised help - but as always there was a waiting list - when the help did come through - it wasnt for my wife (which is what i had expected) - it was an invite for me to attend a psycologist - That was totally un-expected, he didnt do anthing to try and get my wife the help I felt she needed at the time and I was incredibly disappointed with what happened. Needless to say I didnt go see a shrink - my world had been stood on its head but I still knew which way was up! On the other hand my wife was a completely different person.

 

Althought I would never have guessed things would turn out like that in a million years there was a lot of good came from it, my mates really shone through for me and I will NEVER forget that. With my new job and moving so far I had a fresh start, put my nose to the grindstone, got straight financially even if it is a bit like starting your morgage at Day 1 again as least you know where you are.

 

In that period I didnt do much and that included shooting I just lost heart for a while, but a couple of years later and I began to make up for lost time. I do as much shooting as I can get in and see my mates as often as possible. In fact Ive made a whole new bunch of friends up here in Scotland. Divorce set in motion a whole chain of events that would never have happend if we hadn't divorced -its not all bad! They say if it doesnt kill you it makes you stronger and I wouldn't want for that or to wish it on anyone else. For I while I was utterly miserable - as an engineer I pull things apart and fix them, usually, on the business side of things it is possible to negotiate to come to an agreement but when this happened there was no understanding the problem, no working out an acceptable arrangement (when you have set you mind on being with one person you feel is special for the remainder of your life how do you fix that when it is just plucked away without warning). Ive always been against social workers and the like and think that people need to sort out their own problems so this un-fixable problem didn't sit well with me at all - the bottom line is for a while my world fell apart and I guess I reached my breaking point? Whilst I still believe we can be the only ones to fix such problems, I'm more tolerant of prople who have got problems these days.

 

My only current problem is a vegeterian girlfriend that thinks shooting for meat is wrong!

 

She got me a new press at Christmas because that was ONLY for TARGET SHOOTING

[eldon]

Thanks guys for all your thoughts and advice.

 

English, besides the kids problem as i have 2, your posts strike so many parallels to mine it is unreal.

I don't want to make this too soppy guys but.....For me one of the real issues is like you said, I am still emotionally attached to this girl and after 22 years it is hard. For example If I shot a deer we used to butcher it up and parcel it together, me dirty hands for the bloody bits and her clean hands for the bags, weighing and freezer.

 

If I had run off then the price is what it is but in this scenario the price is the same for something I don't want.

 

At the moment it is amicable but how long will that last..............

 

I have no interest in anything at the moment and could willingly sell or give everything away. But my rifles are different and my wife knows this. Hope it gets better as I am normally a motivated person but this just drains you. As I have no interest in shooting or anything at the moment I might just look into the rfd storage idea from the safeguarding the FAC point of view.

 

It is good to know that at least some folk on here have been through this and come out the other side happier.

[Alycidon]

I know its hard but try and keep things amicable, you and your kids will regret it if you dont.

 

Good luck,

 

A

[Foxshooter]

Luckily my divorce was pretty amicable, I kept my guns and my pension and most of the furniture that I wanted. It was the best £65k I ever spent.

 

A friend went through his divorce shortly after, his wife having started procedures amicably twisted the knife and told the police that they had argued and as he had guns she felt threatened. He sold all his gear and packed in.

 

If you are in any doubt lodge most or all your toys with a friendly RFD for a few months until things are sorted out. If you can 'sell' them to a mate for a tenner each until you can buy them back after the divorce thats another handy option.

 

I did my maudlin then went out a lot and rediscovered drink and a wider social circle.

 

When you feel like it have a look at some of the internet dating sites (seriously its not all munters, new mothers and photographs from the past!) I thought it was all a load of bull when my mate (mentioned above) broached the subject with me. I speculated a few quid, played a straight bat and met the woman I consider to be my soul mate. I have never been happier.

 

Make the most of your mates, dont worry about 'boring' them. If they are real mates they wont mind

 

Mark

[Jingzy]

Is it possible to sell the rifles to a mate, for a quid say. Then after the divorce, buy them back. Let her think you sold them for hundreds and you have thrown it on drink and lawyers.

 

Not overly helpful, but this is what I would do.