silentsoulsleave308holes Posted April 30, 2009 Report Share Posted April 30, 2009 looking for advice really and not sympathy. on Monday when I arrived home from work my good lady eve wanted me to come in the house for a while but I was insistent in wanting to get her and the kids loaded up in the car as I needed to get to the shops for some chicken feed before they closed. in the car eve announced that she had had a phone call from a police man today and I naturally assumed it was firearms related but then had the shock of being told that my father had died in hospital. a long story short is that my parents had split up when I was young(six), when I was sixteen he wanted to get in contact and contact was made which resulted in me moving up to Kent to live with him. well things didn't go too well and after a couple of months I moved out and started to sort my life out and met the Mrs and a couple of months later I returned to Cornwall with the Mrs where we have lived since bringing up our three children. just over a year ago my father wanted to make contact again and me being me decided that I would not hold a grudge and give an old man the satisfaction of knowing that his son is doing well and that he was a granddad to three and my sister one child. we have remained in contact with him we phone calls every now and then but were suspicious that he was having mental difficulty as a lot of what he said did not add up or seemed far from the truth a short while ago he told my sister and I that he had cancer but didn't want us to worry about it and because of all the stories we didn't believe him and the last month we were unable to make contact with him. anyways, a bit shocked, I contacted the police man who explained to me that he had been in hospital for a while and he had some mental problems and refused treatment. he also explained that he had heard that my father had told people that he had cancer and that they could not find anything in his records that he did but they were aware that he had some abdominal blockages and some mental problems that he was being treated for. I got in contact with my sister who lives in Spain and gave her the bad news and the contact details of the policeman so she can ask him questions directly. she was informed yesterday that the postmortem results showed that he died in hospital as a result of refusing treatment, did not have cancer and that his death was caused by fibrous blockage of the bowel and she was asked to front the cost for the funeral now I am left thinking that if they knew of his mental problems and his medical condition then how did he die of his condition?????????? why couldn't/wouldn't they section him and treat him anyway even if it meant rendering him unconscious?????? the other tricky part is that my sister and I hardly knew him, were in contact with him recently, find out that he possibly wasn't be cared for properly (we didn't even know he was truly ill as a lot of what he told us seemed untrue, some was untrue so how do you tell lies from truth? why didn't social services get in contact with us to tell us? and what the frack has been going on?????? why weren't we told?????? and being both skint is there any help we can get in paying for his funeral and house clearence? not sure what to next as lots of questions are left un answered Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1967spud Posted April 30, 2009 Report Share Posted April 30, 2009 sorry to hear about your loss mate i think you are probably best tp speak to either a soliciter or citizen advice Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ronin Posted April 30, 2009 Report Share Posted April 30, 2009 Jamie, sorry to hear of your news. First advice, if you and your sister are the only next ofkin and there is no will to say how your fathers estate is to be divided then you will have to go through probate (I think) even with a will it can take years to settle the estate (happened to me and took two two years) Bask ally if there is no appointed executor of your fathers estate one needs appointing they then sort out what is owed, what is owned and how it is to be divided once the debtts are settled. Funeral cost usually comes out of the estate at the end . You need to see if there is a will in existence then speak to local coroner (if it's being handled by coroner who will carry out pm and release body with death certificate for burial / cremation) Long process legal advice is available from citicens advice but u may qualify for aid I don't know your circumstances . Hope that helps u mate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eldon Posted April 30, 2009 Report Share Posted April 30, 2009 Jamie been there done that. I will contact by pm. All the best. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
silentsoulsleave308holes Posted April 30, 2009 Author Report Share Posted April 30, 2009 thanks for your kind words I am not bothered about gaining from anything he had and I personally would like to give all his belongings to a charity it has hit me harder today and although I went back to work for just half a day, it dragged as if it were two days the real sad thing is that I know that in the end he loved me and my sister by his actions for if I were in his shoes or I became ill I would not want to put my children through the heart ache of knowing and so would choose to go along the path alone as he did Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
6mmBR Posted April 30, 2009 Report Share Posted April 30, 2009 Sorry for your loss Jamie. A solicitor or Citizens advice should help you in the right direction. Hope you get the advice you need, to help you through this sad time Dave Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flytie Posted April 30, 2009 Report Share Posted April 30, 2009 Sorry for your loss, you seem to have handled a difficult situation very well. On a practical note, when my dad died I was amazed at how many copies of the death certificate we needed. Everyone seems to need one, bank accounts, creditcards, building society, gas, electric and council (registrar). Get the certificate and go to a solicitor with them to have them "notarised". I got a dozen copies and had one left. Every solicitor in the country should give you a free half hour consultation, ask when getting the death certificate notarised. If you consult the citizens advice chaps first they may know a solicitor who knows how to negotiate the "Health Service Bureaucracy". Try the offical route by writing to the hospital telling them why you are unhappy. Log every conversation, who you talk to, when and what time it was. Send letters registered post. Atvb, ft Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teach Posted April 30, 2009 Report Share Posted April 30, 2009 Hi Jamie Sorry to hear about recent events. I will contact you this evening to see if there is anything I can do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alycidon Posted April 30, 2009 Report Share Posted April 30, 2009 So sorry to hear of your tragic news. Ronin's post is pretty well right ( I was executor to my Dads estate). If he had a solicitor you need to contact them to see of they have any record of a will. In the will if there is one wil be his executor details. If not to be honest I dont really know and suggest Cit Advice ro your own solicitor which of course will cost. You will need at least a dozen death certificates and the same Certificates of Probate if you end up as executor. Everybody needs one, nobody bothers to send them back either. I assume there are no guns involved but if there are contact your fathers FEO and discuss. There will normally be no isssues transferring them to you for onward sale. A Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ronin Posted April 30, 2009 Report Share Posted April 30, 2009 One more thing, I know you mentioned that you are thinking of donating items to charity etc. That is of course youre choice, however the simple fact is that funerals, solicitors and the like cost and cost handsomly, be prepared also (if there is property involved) for inheritance tax - this only applies above a certain threshold. I can't recall exactly, what that is, but it all has to be paid. Maybe there is a solicitor who is a member here who might assist you? My own fathers estate was dealt with by his appointed executors (a bank), they certainly didn't earn the thousands of pounds they charged looking at the final paperwork - and the work they actually did. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ejg223 Posted April 30, 2009 Report Share Posted April 30, 2009 Jamie, really sorry to hear of your loss. This is the time for your family to spend some time together. If at any stage you need a weekend off, you know where we are. edi Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
English Posted May 12, 2009 Report Share Posted May 12, 2009 Silent souls........... Sorry to hear about your loss. This may be of some help to you. http://www.jobcentreplus.gov.uk/jcp/Custom...008260.xml.html Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ds1 Posted May 13, 2009 Report Share Posted May 13, 2009 Very sorry for your loss silent. I don't know anything about the legal side but would guess citizens advice would be a good place to start. david. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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