Kids a clear eye on the world

Redfox · September 23, 2008

Thought you would like these:-

Subject: Humour: School kid's "howlers" (not bad at that!)

Q: Name the four seasons.

A: Salt, pepper, mustard & vinegar

Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink

A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep & canoeists (??)

Q: How is dew formed?

A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire

Q: How can you delay milk turning sour? (brilliant, love this!)

A: Keep it in the cow

Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?

A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight

Q: What are steroids?

A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs

Q: What happens to your body as you age?

A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental

Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?

A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery

Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes

A: Premature death.

Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? ( e.g., abdomen)

A: The body is consisted into three parts -- the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels A, E, I, O & U

Q: What is the fibula?

A: A small lie

Q: What does 'varicose' mean? (I do love this one...)

A: Nearby

Q: Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarian Section' !

A: The Caesarian Section is a district in Rome

Q: What does the word 'benign' mean?

A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight

Kids Are Quick

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America

MARIA: Here it is, she pointing in the correct direction

TEACHER: Correct. Now class! Who discovered America ?

CLASS: Maria did miss!

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TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?

JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables .

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TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'

GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'

TEACHER: No, that's wrong

GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!

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TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?

DONALD: H I J K L M N & O

TEACHER: What are you talking about?

DONALD: Well miss, Yesterday, you said it's - H to O!!

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TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.

WINNIE: Me!

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TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?

GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are

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TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I'

MILLIE: I is..

TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am'

MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet

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TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?

LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand

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TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?

SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mum is a good cook

TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?

CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog

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TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?

HAROLD: A teacher!

Redfox